Laura's Lessons: What I've Learned

I've been watching Laura's videos for a couple years now.  Her vids were being posted in Ireland and I don't really remember now how I came across her. Her way of talking reminded me so much of my father's manner of speaking.  

I watched quite a few of her videos before I ever checked out her website.  Then I used some of her real simple worksheets and then in 2018, Christmas Eve to be exact, I finally decided to find out what "Bullet Journal" was.  She'd mentioned this a few times along with some of her other things on planning.  Long story short, I've done the Bullet Journal and am still working on it.  

Revising and reviewing  and setting it up to fit me and my style of working.  This is the longest I've stuck with one way of doing things.  And, No, I Do Not Have ADD, ADHD or such things.  I do have PTSD and Bullet Journalling has helped me a lot.  

I did her worksheets on setting goals when I was working on my business plan during 2019.  These helped me focus and what I'd already accomplished, what I wanted to do and what needed to be done to accomplish my goals. 

Then 2020 happened.  Well, for me it really started the last week before Christmas 2019 and all of this will be in my forthcoming book "I May Not Have Time."  The past couple months I've been picking up the pieces that got scattered and realizing that Yeah, I have come a long way since last year.  

Laura has developed some courses that I have yet to explore.  I'd gotten a notification from Facebook that I hadn't visited her private group in the last 30 days and I could leave the group if I wanted to.  No!  I didn't want to leave, I'm just working on "#Getting My Shit Together." 

This video was on her wall, so I watched it and the 10 habits are something that I've become more aware of and a couple I was already incorporating into my life from "before."  Before what? ya may rightfully ask and I'll tell ya that it's Before the Covid.  Some of you may be looking for help in setting up your New Year's resolutions and/or just reviewing for whatever reasons.  Give this video a looksee for anything you may be missing or perhaps reaffirm those you already do. 

☘️ 10 Habits That Changed My Life (While Suffering From Depression) • Li...

Social Interactions

My posting of the flight experience is an example of what I deal with on an almost daily basis. Most of those types of experiences are not as blatant or as humiliating. Mostly, my mother and I only go to places where we know we are welcome, mostly Indian owned and operated casinos and businesses who welcome us.

Most of the social interactions I experience are on the level of waiting 5-10 minutes before being served, being followed by store personnel from the moment I enter a store to outright refusal to serve me accomplished by suddenly having to go on break. When I accompany my mother, it gets slightly worse if she is in a wheelchair. I've had similar experiences quite a few times with people actually shouting at my mother like she can't hear while towering over her in her chair, lecturing me like I'm a simpleton with no concept of how to take care of her, yelling at me that they hate it when someone doesn't do what they're supposed to meaning that they're right and I am wrong.

Now, my father has called me a radical since I was a teenager because I objected to this sort of treatment. He was born before the depression, my mom was born during the depression and I was born in the tail end of the baby boom. We grew up during turbulent decades: depression years, World War II years and Viet Nam War years. My father was sent to an Indian boarding school. My mother wasn't and she objected fiercely to any suggestion that her children be sent. Those growing up years determine how we each respond to discrimination, bigotry and hatred. Even when it's displayed by our own people. We're a loving, generous, and caring family who oftentimes go out of our way to help others.

We firmly believe in treating others as we'd like to be treated. We try very hard not to "treat others as we are being treated" when the treatment being received is negative in some manner. This is sometimes viewed as being a pushover by others. We do have limits on our patience. The difference in our responses shows at those times.

I have learned to walk away when my temper reaches the boiling point. I'd rather do that than deal with the consequences after the fact that I responded with violence or hurtful words. I'd be the one facing the judge in court even if I was defending myself. Sometimes, I do have to speak out. When I am tired and need time alone to recharge, I revert to my childhood mode of thinking where a simple gesture was often enough to express what takes many sentences in English.

With my own people, I must create pictures, images in a manner that corresponds to our native tongue. Often, there are no English words to help with that translation. Especially when vocabularies do not match. That same process causes complications when talking to others who don't have the same sorts of experiences. Twice I got out of my chair in order to be on the same level as the attendants. Attitudes quickly changed once I was standing. I was very disgusted upon learning the person who caused my problem bawled someone out when he was inconvenienced by a short delay.

You may want to reread Home at Last & II. I did get a comment from someone who made me smile about the whole thing. Miigwetch for that. When I can laugh about it, I'll have figured out what I needed to know.

Beliefs, Values, Traditions

Read a preface today that said the Chippewa called winter "waboose" and that the symbol was a white buffalo withstanding the effects of winter.  I grew up with the knowledge that waboose meant rabbit.  I'm not familiar with the White buffalo as symbol of winter.  

It feels like everything I grew up knowing is now wrong.  I was taught by my elders about many traditional ways.  My family practices old ways without thinking about it.  That's how ingrained the values and beliefs are.  I had/have role models who lived the life, who showed me without my asking, and explained what seemed to me to be a contradiction.  

Part of the process of solidifying my life foundation was going through my value system and  leaving behind what didn't belong to me.  I learned that I couldn't step into another's steps all my life.  I had to make my own tracks.  I was told by an Elder teacher "you already know" when I was going to ask her something.  This made me think.  I do know.  I do live my life according to what I was taught and it has served me well.

The thing I remember the most, and also the thing I most fought, was "think, figure out how you are going to do this, which ever way is easiest, best for you."  I didn't want that. I wanted someone to do for me.  I wanted to be a child while still having adult privileges.  It doesn't work that way.  

"The Look" is sufficient to get me to correct my behavior, or make me think about what I am doing at the moment I get "The Look"; not always what I want to know either.  "Be quiet and listen" sometimes gets me the knowledge I've been seeking, sometimes without even knowing it.  "Shh" gets my attention now.  "Munge" means I need to look elsewhere because "don't know" can mean several things, likeliest, they don't have time and this is the polite way of saying so.  

One of the most irritating values is "sharing" because it is the one most taken advantage of.  I share.  Others share.  The thing is your family needs must be met before others.  It is out of the "more than you need" category that sharing comes into play.  "Don't have" means just that.  I don't have enough to give you.  My mom says what little we have is shared out.  I sometimes dread this one because little ones most often need to be taken care of and the parent knows this.  Along with sharing is "Replace what you took." That one gets ignored.  

Leaving behind what didn't belong to me included false teachings-ones that were twisted out of recognition.  I struggled with some of them; finally remembered things that helped me sort things out.  Once I got a dream answer.  The world began to make sense, I was finally home.  I know where I come from and I know where I'm going.  Getting there is what makes life worth living.
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added 02 Jul 2012
here is a link that explains a little more about the value system I grew up with
native-art-in-canada.com/index.html