23 June 2011

Minions of the Darkside

Raving and ranting.  Ranting and raving.  The darker emotions of life.  Images are not pretty, might be gruesome even.  Frustrating, irksome, impatient.  What, what's that you're asking?  Why am I blathering on about the dark side of life?  I have succumbed to the Darkside.  


Woke up this morning feeling chipper, maybe even happy.  Had my morning coffee and cigarette.  Proceeded to eat the very last frybread slathered with peanut butter.  Logged on to my usual early morning haunt, then proceeded to my next stop.  Didn't have the least bit of suspicion that the Darkside was lurking, eyeballing me as I happily proceeded to check out my Cafe.  


The dishes were bubbling merrily away, customers were happily eating, food and drink was being consumed at a phenomenal rate.  Buzz rating was going up.  Neighbors were very generous with their taste temptations and provided me with a lot of what I needed.  The catering order was proceeding nicely.  Very few popups to spoil my advance towards the completion of my goals.  Then the Darkside struck.


The total number of dishes served was correct for me.  Alas, not for my catering buddies.  I charged righteously towards Customer Support, only to find the support had dropped down the black hole of despair.  In haste, I scrambled to the Forums.  Lo and behold, everyone was having the same problems.  {Not everyone, just the vocal minority, of which I am a member, particularly when money is involved}  This is where I discovered I was not dealing with the Darkside's minions.  The Creme de la Fraidy was present in many of the smaller caverns located within the spiraling galaxy of "the Forums."  Between the black hole and the entrance to the Cave of Demented Discussions, I had veered off the path of righteousness onto the Path of ...the Darkside.  


Once I realized that the upper echelons of the dreaded Darkside were circulating their nefarious instruments of doom, gloom and despair, I backpedaled to the beginning of this travesty of justice.  There I found that I had made a slight miscalculation when I charged off so recklessly.  The newest of the new, the latest of the late, the best of the Quest had been released sometime on this day of travails and it is that which sent me on my rants and raves, my rapid descent into the Darkside.  


Thoughts of the grand prize awaiting the one who finished the 11 day quest were heady ones at first.  Then I realized I'd be competing against millions.  Millions, I tell you, who are, even as we speak, outpacing me with lightspeed grace and agility.  Now, I'm sliding into a mournful morass of ...Wait, there...could it be?  Captain Superstove.  He will help me regain the advantage so carelessly tossed aside when I spotted the Tally-eating minion of the Darkside.

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